penrosesun:

mpregnate:

mpregnate:

do cis people realise that trans people get misgendered even if we pass? a trans man could walk up in a full beard and still be called “miss” because people are transphobic, not because he looks like woman. obviously non-passing trans people get misgendered more often, but there’s really more layers (aka transphobia) to being misgendered apart from “i pass all the time thus no one ever misgenders me”

relatives might misgender you through your entire life, people who know you’re trans might misgender you solely because you are trans, people will misgender you to spite you and they’ll misgender you to harm you (either emotionally, or by outing you). doctors will misgender you if they realise you’re not cis, which can have fatal outcomes. the legal system constantly misgenders trans women, putting them in men’s jails no matter how well she passes as a woman, which puts these women as incredible risks for their safety and lives. 

misgendering is a social and sometimes fatal power that cis people have over trans people, and acting as if it’s at all times “a honest mistake” shows how little you think of trans peoples’ security. 

I had a late night drunken conversation with a cis friend at one point that really opened my eyes to this as a trans person.

We were talking about a bunch of random dating-related shit, and I mentioned how I basically only date bi people, because, you know, I couldn’t pass for shit lol, I mean have you seen me?

And this friend just turns to me and says, “Um. You pass. You know that, right?”

And I was like, what? No. How could I possibly pass? I’m 5′4″, and I’m not on T and I haven’t had top surgery, and I don’t even bind all the time (despite having a pair of double friggin’ Ds), and I have a voice like Minnie Mouse. What part of that equals passing?

And then he said something that I don’t think I’ll ever forget: “Well, yeah, you don’t look cis. But I literally assumed your pronouns were he/him from before we even knew each other, because you were obviously trying to be a guy. You pass fine; some folks are just assholes.”

And the thing is? He was right. If I had a full beard and a baritone and a six-inch growth spurt, most of the people who called me “young lady” and “miss” would still treat me like I was a woman. And on the flip side? Most of the people who were would be willing to switch from calling me by my deadname and my old pronouns if I suddenly changed my appearance like that were also willing to switch as soon as I asked them to.

There’s a really vital difference between passing and never getting clocked/misgendered, and that difference is, to put it bluntly, transphobia.